How to Buy Wine Online

Wine. Online. Delivered.

You like wine.
No, you love wine.

Not everyone does because not everyone has the advanced, cultured taste buds that a wine enthusiast is born with.

Beer – you can develop a taste for it – you have to develop a taste for it – and it comes with no minimum social status requirements.

Wine – it’s a different animal. Well, not literally an animal, but if wine were an animal, it’d probably be a cheetah. Sleek, fast, social, graceful, curious, and smooth with a light build, long thin legs, and a beautiful tail.

Beer – it’s more like an orangutan. Loud, playful, undiscerning, with short arms and legs, they spend most of their time in trees. To an orangutan, the tree is like a man cave is to a beer drinker.

Wine drinkers love to be catered to. This is why many now order their wine online and have it delivered to their home, or party, or yacht. But they never have their wine delivered to their pontoon because wind enthusiasts don’t own pontoons. And if they did, they’d keep it a secret. Beer drinkers have pontoons.

Wine has evolved. Remember when California wines were mocked as inferior to French wine? Evolution.

Wine drinkers are born more evolved, eliminating the need for further evolution.

What’s the best way to select and purchase your wine?

That’s easy.

Use your wine delivery website or app and order it online.

We recommend Why? Two reasons: 1) we work for them, and 2) it is the best alcohol delivery platform available. It’s built with the discriminating wine drinker in mind.


With their website OR app, you can peruse the wine selection of your nearby liquor store. In fact, you can do this with any of your favorite adult beverages.

Next, you select your favorite bottle – or bottles, or cases, and pay.

Then, you can choose either pick up or delivery. Whichever makes you happy. For me, I want my wine delivered. It makes me feel more special. It’ll make you feel more special too. If that’s even possible.

And your friends will think you’re cool. That’s important.

Although, if you choose to pick your wine up, it will be waiting for you. You can have it delivered to your car, or you can go inside and pick it up.

If you go in, you’ll be allowed to cut to the front of the line. Of course, you will. Other customers will look at you with envy, except those who are mad because they think you cheated. Warning: if they’re orangutans, watch out.

But you didn’t cheat. You were just smarter by ordering your alcohol online in advance.

That Perfect Gift?

Wine. Purchase it online and have it sent to your friends. Anywhere in the U.S.

If you don’t have many friends, buy a bottle of wine and send it to people you want to have as friends. Whether they become friends or not, they’ll appreciate the free drinks.

Who doesn’t appreciate free drinks?

Remember, not everyone is smart enough to download and use an alcohol and wine delivery website/app. You are, though, because you’re you. And nobody else can be you.

And as a wine enthusiast, you were born with more intelligence, class, and friends than non-winers. So, remember, for all your online wine needs!


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